Defence Against Power Abuse in God's Church (Part 1)
by J and J Maring (in Western Australia)
Thank you for giving us space on your website to share our experience and in doing so make a plea for people to recognize abuse of power in God's church for the sin that it is and the enormous impact it has on people's lives.
It really can happen that at one moment one is pitching in happily in the service of the Lord and then things take a most awful turn. All of a sudden life is so different that it seems impossible to the person's concerned, let alone to observers.
Believe us please that it can happen.
Simple and straightforward serving of the lord and sharing Christian fellowship is a blessed gift from God... "what does the LORD your God ask of you but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, 13 and to observe the LORD's commands and decrees that I am giving you today for your own good? (Deuteronomy 10:12-13 NIV.)
"Go back" some fourteen years and we would not have believed it if anyone had said we would ever leave the church group of the FRCA (Au) We would, with complete confidence, have called it impossible. Our fellow church members would also have considered our leaving with equal disbelief. We were members from childhood. "Forty something" years were spent in the same denomination.
John was serving as an elder in the congregation. He had previously worked as a Deacon as well as in the youth groups, both in the regular Bible Study groups and in the outreach to the native population. We had not long before built a new church building where we also contributed where we could, and enjoyed doing so. Much the same applied to jenny. Leadership and contribution to Bible study clubs was done with great pleasure. There were other tasks as well, such as translation of sermons and material for youth groups for example and library and other work at the local "church" school.
We do not take pleasure in mentioning the church by name, but the whole matter will be dismissed as "that could not happen to us" if we write anonymously.
Because members trust office bearers as a rule (and in almost all instances rightfully so) it is met with anger if someone criticizes the procedures or actions of specific ones.
Members prefer not "to get involved" and avoid persons making a complaint because it poses a threat to themselves.
If it is a "legitimate issue" they are put in a spot.
Even if "the situation" surprises church people, it is still much the easier way out not to get involved and get "noticed."
Therefore in time, it becomes possible that a group of people have the opportunity to act in a totally unaccountable manner. There have to be strong voices indeed in the church and Consistory to stand up to them and stop this wicked behavior.
Sooner or later someone must speak up publicly (outside of the group) because it impacts more dreadfully on the victim's lives than can be imagined. We lost family, friends, and acquaintances. Most people we met after we left the abusive situation avoided contact. The repercussions are dreadful. Our life changed enormously, some 13-14 years ago, from happy and active participation in church life, to loneliness, isolation, severe depression, end of strength, broken spirit, as a result of accusations, intimidation, innuendo and criticism.
We are not talking about a few "differences", but about false accusations,
harassment, threats, pages and pages of lies written secretly about us from one consistory to another. Use of censure without any warning and without being able to base it on "sin". Preparedness to proceed with further censure without giving us any reason other that that it was based on "input from the congregation" and we did not "have to know the details". Shouted warnings, blackmail.
Unbelievable, but true. We would not dare write this if it were untrue.
In this way a group in the church had enough influence to affect our life completely and we did not have the opportunity to defend ourselves before we were completely broken in spirit and decided to leave.
Take note of what David writes: Psalm 55:12-14 NIV
12 If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; if a foe were raising himself against me, I could hide from him. 13 But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend, 14 with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship as we walked with the throng at the house of God.
All the parts of the human body belong to the one body and have a function there. The human body has the right to demand the strength of the arm, the skill of the fingers, the motion and agility of the limbs, the hearing of the ear, the seeing of the eye, the wisdom of the tongue--all to be employed for the advantage of the body.
So the church, the Body of Christ, has similar claims upon all her members. She also rightfully may demand that all the gifts, which any and all her members have received from Christ, shall be employed in her service. Their ears--their eyes--their hands and feet--their tongues, and all their powers, must be devoted to the Church's interest, for it is to her that they all belong.
If the eye sees danger approaching--if the ear hears a deep-laid plot for the destruction of the body or any of its members, the information is of equal advantage to every member. The tongue that successfully pleads the cause of its owner confers the same advantage upon another member. The body, and every one of its members have a joint interest--a fellowship and communion, in the gifts of any and every member. They all share in the knowledge, the judgment, the experience, and the wisdom of each other. This combination becomes common ownership and every one may draw from it without in the smallest degree, diminishing the capital.
The gracious prayer of the members, the fellowship and joint interest, may be enjoyed in all the social exercises, activities and interchanges of the true worshippers of God.
1 Cor. 12:12,13 12The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ.13For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one body--whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free--and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.
Compare also verse 26. 26If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.
Such is the unity of the body of Christ, and such the interchangeable participation amongst all its members. This leads them with cheerfulness, to spend and be spent for each other--to engage, with pleasure, in the charitable acts of relieving each other's wants, according to their varying abilities and necessities.
With all such members we ought, as much as possible pray about and discuss Christian matters, praising God in company-- public and private.
And this is the characteristic mark of all who love him--they have His Father's name written on their foreheads. All such members will delight to mingle their voices, their hearts and affections, in their relation one to another. They will speak of Christ--of the wonders of his love, and the wonders of his grace, with pleasure and delight and will join in his praises.
How can this then change so completely, so suddenly and unexpectedly for some members?
In our "situation" the Pastor of our congregation heard some talk about us and questioned us. He urged us to go and "sort it out". We considered this to be quite unnecessary and wrong and said we would not do so. The reason we considered it wrong was because Christ says in Matthew 18:15 that if a person has a problem with another, they also have a task to go to see them and sort it out. This is quite simple and works well if members of a church adhere to it. We did not have any problems regarding the persons and therefore had no need to make work of anything.
Yet the Pastor persevered in his urging. Weary of it, we did make contact with them and found it was irritations on their part.
We expressed annoyance to the Pastor for the "gossip" he had heeded.
The matter did not stop there however. Two elders became involved (how we don't know) because the Pastor continued to maintain that we should sort "it out".
When we refused to pursue idle talk, they resorted to character annihilation.
This was a direct result of not "obeying" the Pastor and the elders.
We were told that there was a character fault with us, which "caused other people to sin".
We were the reason (according to these representatives) for causing other members to act in a sinful manner.
To our horror this was the message that was coming from the Church Council.
It all seemed quite impossible and ludicrous. We kept thinking it would sort itself out and there would be recognition that a mistake had been made.
None of the other elders addressed it with us, what was now an accusation from the Church Council.
Paul wrote to Timothy in 1 Tim 3:15: ...I am writing you these instructions so that... you will know how people ought to conduct themselves in God's household, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of the truth.
This includes without question, the words of the Lord Jesus in Matthew 18:15. Here Christ sets out the steps necessary for dealing with sin between believers.
This is a well-known portion of Scripture and is easily understood but for some reason not so easily followed.
Jesus outlines how we deal with a sinning brother/sister in the church.
There are many commentaries on this chapter and we will for convenience use (with permission) an explanation that may be found online at:
http://reformedonline.com/view/reformedonline/conflict.htm
