A Family Divided (Part 2)

An account of our experiences at New Song Community Church

by M.J. McFalls

Update, January 2005

Aside from placing a few small items on her car from time to time, we'd had no contact with our daughter for over a year. In August we heard of something called an intervention. Both Jeffrey and I thought that it sounded like a good idea and we were sure that the Lord's hand was in the timing of it. It's a long story but it didn't work. A.J. would not meet with us. Then New Song turned off their phones, we text-messaged to Jeff Bohn, and when later he was confronted by Jeffrey, Jeff Bohn hid behind the fact that "your daughter is 20 years old."

We received a letter from a lawyer within two days, stating that we would be charged with harassment if we contacted the Bohns or our daughter in any way.

Our attorney dismissed the letter as a scare tactic since we hadn't in any way harassed anyone, including A.J. It was a professional intervention and we acted appropriately the whole time.

In November, we received another letter from A.J.'s lawyer in which she wrote about all the terrible things I had ever done… including the August intervention. While the letter was difficult to read, we had finally heard directly from our daughter for the first time in over two years. It gave us insight as to how she perceived her childhood and the problems that were in our home. It was obvious though, that much of the memories had been filtered through the New Song leadership, as many of the thoughts were exaggerated. She wrote that the only thing that I had ever done right was to, "take her to New Song Community Church, where they only wanted to make all of our lives better."

We wanted to reply via her lawyer, but thought it best to wait until after Christmas. We received godly advice as to how best to respond.

It was the first week in the New Year, I'd been working on my part of the letter, (it was suggested that we each of us write to her separately). January 10th, Jeffrey and I were coming home from church and decided to stop at a restaurant for the salad bar. Cutting through the bar area, to wash my hands, I glanced at one of the tables on the way, to see Jeff Bohn sitting right there with his family. I didn't know what to do. I got into the restroom and prayed, "Now what Lord?" Going around 'bout way, I got back to the table. "Jeffrey, do not go to the salad bar, sit down. I have something that I need to tell you." Jeffrey went white. I could see the anger come up from inside. We changed our order to a sandwich, ate it, and were preparing to pay the bill and slip out the back door, when I thought to ask our waitress to describe to me who was sitting at the table in front of the bar. (We had told her that there was a problem, with brief synopsis of the situation). Her description was, "A husband and wife, two young boys and a teenage girl who looks to be about 14, maybe 16 years old--tops."

"Does that 'teenage' girl look like me?"

"Well, kinda..."

I don't think that the server was finished talking, I looked at Jeffrey, and he was looking past me, I turned to see what he was looking at with such a strange expression, to see A.J. standing there.

She was so thin that I hardly recognized her. Her pants were very, very small and barley staying on her body (anorexia). Her hair was dull, her hands red. She kept her hands folded in front of her body, or in her pockets. She would not sit down beside us, though I'd invited her. She had a smile, but it looked more pasted on than real. She spoke clearly to us, as if we were just friends that she'd not seen for a while. We must have looked shocked; it was as if she was laughing at our reaction. Jeffrey did most of the talking, trying to say something to a daughter who we hadn't seen in nearly two years. He spoke of how we were treated at New Song... things that they'd said to us, how that they aren't following the scriptures. She simply replied that she knew exactly how we were treated and denied any wrongdoing on their part. Jeffrey got a little exasperated but A.J. remained cool and controlled. I just tried to agree with anything that she said about me so as to minimize the confrontation, and to keep her there talking. I asked her if she would simply hold my out-stretched hand, (she had kept a distance of three or four feet from us).

"Why, Mother?" (She has NEVER called me "mother".)

"Well, how about... that it can be my Christmas gift."

"I don't think that would be appropriate."

"Can I send mail directly to your home instead of through a lawyer?"

"No, I would prefer that you send any thing to me through my lawyer."

This was a long shot, but I just had to ask, "Will you come to the farm sweetheart?"

(Smiling sweetly,) "No Mother, I won't come to the farm."

She made an excuse that they were waiting for her, and walked away. We hung our heads and cried. Got up, and left the restaurant. That night we called Mary Alice Chrnologar, the author of Twisted Scriptures. She said that the fact that she was allowed to come over to our table to talk to us was a miracle, albeit upsetting for us. I revamped my letter and sent off to the lawyers last Friday (14th).

Please pray that the letter is read by her and her alone, without the cultic filter of her leaders. They corrupt everything that we say and do into something evil and manipulative. Please pray that her heart will be softened enough to at least read the scripture references sighted in regards to forgiveness. Please pray for a breakthrough. She couldn't have been colder to us. I thought that if I could just touch her hand, that the ice would melt off her heart. I think that is why she refused to let us near her, she wants the ice.