The Journey Out
by Mrs. John Austin
Two years ago we moved to Virginia. We were living in California and wanted to get out for several reasons. The main one was the intrusive homeschooling laws that were being tossed around. We knew we wanted to move out of state, but weren't sure where to move.
In 1999 we started thinking about the move, and began praying about Virginia. I had heard quite a bit about the state and about a homeschooling community. But, by the time we were ready to move, the homeschooling group had fallen apart. Still, we had an interest in moving to Virginia.
In November of 2002 we started asking around on the internet and with local friends to see if they'd heard of any homeschooling-friendly communities. We heard of another one and contacted them. We asked if there were others that they knew of, but the email came back stating from a pastor in this community:
"It is not an easy thing to come up with a list of churches that are homeschooling friendly. There is our church that I know of, and then there is one not yet started that we are just beginning to plant (tells location). Other than that, I'm not sure. That of course doesn't mean they're not out there, just that I'm not aware of them. I'm sorry I cannot be more help, and I hope we'll see you in not too distant future."
We also let the elder know that I wrote for a few publications, mostly on the internet, and that we had started a website which posted my articles. We asked if he had any problems with this and we sent him one of the articles. He stated:
"...as for women writing/speaking, I would put that on par with making sashes for merchants. My wife writes a column for (names publication) every issue. She still reports to me and writes it in the evening. In a few days she will speak to the ladies at a homeschooling conference (names location)."
Our move toward Reformed thinking started in 1999, and we attended a few Presbyterian churches in CA. We had a hard time getting over the concept of paedo-baptism (baby-baptism), but it was presented to us over and over again as a package deal. In other words, though we could not see clear teaching of it in the New Testament, it was historically accepted as truth in the Presbyterian Church. Eventually we started to go along with this view and were even touched with emotion when babies were baptized. We never thought of it as regeneration by baptism, and we didn't fully understand what was meant when it was said that baptism brought babies into the covenant.
We visited the community of homeschoolers prior to our move, and we knew we did not fit in. Still my husband said that we would go to the community and agree where we could. If we found we needed to leave, there were other churches in the area - after all, it is in the Bible belt.
Upon our arrival, the elders who were expecting us didn't greet or look at us. It was very odd.
We are not completely opposed to alcohol, but we were shocked by both the smoking and drinking during our visit. We had never before seen so much beer laid out on tables and counters. We were shocked by many other things, but we attributed our surprise to cultural differences.
Still, we decided to see if we could "agree to disagree" and we moved to the area.
The concerns we had were mainly in practice. For instance, an elder asked us why we carried our Bibles to church. We were told by him that we did not need to do that - he would read to us. This was a warning sign to us, yet we wanted to be kind, and we tried to follow what the elders taught as much as we could.
Another concern was when the same elder opened a can of tobacco and placed it under our then 13-year-old son's nose. He asked him, "doesn't that smell good? " When our son answered, "no", another man in the church told him he was "missing out".
There were some good things we noticed about the church when we arrived. For instance, there were some very kind people in the church. There was always help when a family was moving. In this way, this group was exceptional. Collectively, the men in the church always pitched in, including one of the elders.
After six months, we were told that our time was up and we needed to join. We were told that the only thing we needed to believe was the apostle's creed. We agreed to that and joined the church. Some words were said over us when we joined (referred to as vows by the church). For the time we were there, we did follow those words and did view this as important but we never thought of them as binding on our lives committing us to stay with this ONE group. We did not believe, and were not led to believe, these words committed us to stay there no matter what was taught, believed, or practiced.
We attended for a year and a half. It was one of the most confusing times in our lives. Things were taught, printed, and recorded but not lived by those who were teaching these things.
The group was an all homeschooling group, but the children were very age-segregated from the adults and left to run with the pack. Some of the children were being taught things at home, but others were not. We didn't understand this for a long time, but the problem, we believe, is in their doctrine of presumptive regeneration, which we have heard most of the elders state they believe. Essentially, it teaches if we assume the children are "in the covenant" by their baptism and we assume regeneration has or will occur due to their baptism...then hyper Calvinism or hyper Covenantalism kicks in. In other words, why bother training if they are "already in". Professions of faith were not desired from the children, instead they would say the liturgy weekly, receive absolution from the pastor, and partake of the "sacrament" of the Lord's table.
After a baby was baptized, the church would have a celebration feast, at which there was always a lot of alcohol. Many men have their own flasks that they carry with them. From the pulpit the head elder/bishop of the church stated, "We are Presbyterians so we smoke and drink". We were shocked at this boast, and view it as immature and wrong. Our boast should be in Christ alone, not in any Christian liberty we believe we have a right to partake of. If alcohol was not allowed at a location for an event, sometimes they would have it in an area nearby so people could go there, partake, and then come back. Some people were putting beer in their children's bottles. We don't know why. It was more than just one family.
We stayed in this group for as long as we could. But last April we realized we had to leave. We had been reading through the New Testament and had seen so many things that were opposite to what was being taught and practiced. My husband wanted to leave in peace, and as far as it was up to him he did so, but the leadership did not accept it.
Prior to our leaving, we heard the head elder state that he was actually the bishop because he started the church. We thought he was joking because we had always thought it was a parity of equal eldership. We did not realize it was a hierarchy like that of the Catholic church.
We realized that the teachings as well as the practices were becoming more and more Catholic, in our view. We were being persuaded more and more by scripture that this was contrary to the New Testament instructions for us under the New Covenant. The elders of the group were heavily influenced by other celebrity Christians who have been involved in the Auburn Avenue controversy. Part of this controversy is changing justification. Some don't agree with the solas of the Reformation. Some believe that Catholics are in the covenant by their baptisms. Some want to live as Old Testament Jews. There was so much information to wade through, and we still don't understand it all. But we do know that no man can change the gospel of Jesus Christ...not the apostle Paul, not an angel from heaven...no man!
We initially did not want to know what the controversy was about, but some women emailed us after reading our website. They were Presbyterian women whose husbands wanted them to look into finding a homeschooling community. They had told us of the terrible way their elders had treated them when they disagreed with the doctrines being taught, which seem to disagree with sola fide.
We decided to leave the church in January, 2005. We had continued our participation because of the friendships we had with others in the church. We were encouraged by others that we should not stay just for the reason of friendship, and were assured that our friends would remain our friends if we were to leave the church. We stayed for a bit longer as a kindness to a family who was going to be out of the country. They had asked us to be available to watch their children while they were away and we had agreed to do so. We did not want to cause any problems by leaving the church before their return to the states...however, we had not planned on what happened next.
We posted an article against hierarchy and vestments on our site in reaction to the terrible things we were hearing of how other people in other churches were being mistreated and even shunned by their elders and community for standing up for the gospel.
Now the church we were attending did have elders in vestments, but we didn't think they were of the same abusive thinking as the ones we had heard of. After we posted the article, the head bishop requested, for the first time ever, to meet my husband for lunch. They met, and the man complained that I was "no longer his fan", just like another man who was in the church and who also had a website. He also stated that the church had ALWAYS been a hierarchy. He tried to lead my husband into saying that I was out of his control and off on my own. He told my husband to remove the article.
My husband told him that this was not the case, and that I write about the things he and I are discussing. My husband told the top elder that he would re-read the article. He did so when he arrived home that evening. I told my husband I would be happy to take the article off the website if it bothered the other man and I sent the elder an email, at my husband's request, letting him know that I cared for him as a brother in Christ.
John sent the elder an email asking where Biblically the article was inaccurate. The reply was sarcastic, nothing was discussed of what the Bible teaches on these issues but John was told that:
"Perhaps what we need is less a Bible lesson and more a grammar lesson."
My husband did not want to respond in like form. After praying about it, he did decide to remove the article to keep the peace. He realized that we could no longer continue at that church body. During the lunch meeting the elder told my husband that someone had told him that he (the elder) is "playing with justification". The elder stated firmly that he believes in presumptive regeneration.
He gave my husband the choice of believing that either babies and mentally handicapped children who die, either go to heaven if they are in the covenant and have been baptized or they go to hell. John does not believe either is the case. The Bible is clear that we only come to the Father through the finished work of Jesus Christ the only Redeemer. He is our justification. He is our righteousness, not the act of baptism nor any other work we may do. God is quite able if He so wills, to bring babes and the mentally handicapped to a saving knowledge in His son Jesus Christ. We believe this is a mystery, and is up to the Sovereign Lord and God over all...not our human minds to decide.
About a month or so prior to this, the same elder had said from the pulpit without any explanation given at the end of a sermon: "Our baptism saves us".
After much prayer, counseling with godly and wise men outside of the church, my husband wrote this letter to the elders:
To the Elders of ___________________________ April 2005
I desire to be at peace with all fellow Christians, so I am writing an official withdrawal from membership at _________________Church for the reasons stated in the vows taken when my family joined which are: I can no longer continue our membership in good conscience. Both our doctrinal beliefs and practices are not in agreement with the teaching at _________________.
We in no way want to cause problems or divisiveness.
I view my family as Reformed Covenantal Baptists. I have been studying the Bible which has led me to look at other views. I do not profess to knowing all things by any stretch of the imagination, but I do believe that I have come by my convictions honestly by praying for God to reveal truth and by reading His word diligently. Though I am not a man of many words, my convictions are held strongly. I do not desire to debate, but to leave in peace. It is my responsibility to lead my family and for the following reasons, we will no longer be attending ______________Church.
Doctrinal Disagreement:
I believe that circumcision is not completed in Baptism in the N.T., but is fulfilled in Christ. The reference that links circumcision to baptism is referring to the baptism of the heart (not made with hands), that being regeneration. This I believe is also so in regard to Passover. It is not completed in the Lord's table but in Christ Himself. --The same is true with communion. I believe as the Bible states that we must be able to examine ourselves before partaking of communion. A baby or small child is unable to do this, so I do not believe in paedo communion. Baptism and the Lord's Table are both symbols of what Christ has already done. I therefore believe in believer's baptism only, and do not accept paedo baptism as Biblical.
I also believe in the regulative principle of worship. I do not believe in kneeling before the pastor in order to partake in communion. In the book: How God Wants Us to Worship Him by Joe Morecraft, he states on pages 128-129:
"Coming forward and kneeling to receive the Lord's Supper from the hand of the minister or priest in some Protestant churches is a "hangover" from the rituals of Roman Catholicism. This is forbidden because it is not commanded in the Word of God. It was unknown in the Christian Church for several centuries after the apostolic age. In fact, in the second, third, and fourth centuries, it was considered unlawful to kneel in worship on the Lord's Day, since kneeling was a posture of solemn fasting and not of the celebration and joy of worship in the presence of the risen lord. Even the famous Council of Nicea (A.D. 381) forbade kneeling on the lord's Day! Coming forward and kneeling to receive the Lord's supper was not introduced until the doctrine of transubstantiation made its appearance in the Roman Catholic Church."
He goes on to explain that it is a meal and a meal is eaten by family members passing food to one another sitting by each other in fellowship.
I do not see the Presbyterian form of church government anywhere in scripture. I see men in the churches leading together with elders brought up from among the church members who have led lives that example the qualifications seen in scripture. My understanding of elder is not a hierarchy as the Catholics have, but instead older men (plural) who lead by persuasive teaching and by example in their own life and family. The men in the church are accountable to one another including the elders. I see no instruction for robes or other attire which would set elders apart or above others in scripture mentioned after Christ's resurrection. The emphasis seems to be that we are one in Christ and are the body working together-not the forms seen in the Old Testament priests or NT priests prior to the Resurrection of our Lord.
I do not believe in presumptive regeneration. The Bible states that there is one way to a Holy God, through the gift of faith, in Christ alone by His grace. I believe we must teach diligently our children the gospel and ways of Christ as seen in scripture. In the case of infants or those who are in some way unable as far as we can see to understand, I believe we must trust God that His ways are perfect. The Father will bring to the Son all who have been promised to Him. If God chooses to give faith as a gift to an infant or others, He is able to do so as He knows best. I, on the other hand, can make no presumptions on such a point because I see no clarity on this in scripture and I am but a finite man. I believe to teach such a doctrine is in error. Somethings are not for us to know.
I believe in clearly proclaiming the gospel of Christ in an understandable way that does not confuse those in the church who hear it preached. I do not see baptism or being in the covenant as regeneration. Esau was among those in the OT covenant who were not saved. I believe this teaching to be in error.
I see no directions in scripture for a liturgical service, though there is beauty in religion or ceremony-I believe that the regulative principle is more obedient to God. Aaron's sons brought to God "strange fires". This was not something that God had strictly forbidden, it was something that they brought in addition to what God had commanded them. It is my conviction that we must learn from this and not follow the wrong example even for reasons we see as pleasant or , if God Himself has not instructed it.
Disagreements in Practice:
I believe the practice of the church should be set apart, father-led, family-oriented, and an example for Christ to any who see the church. I believe this would mean that children should be trained and guided by their parents. Family integration should include the whole family, not be a free-for-all with adults conversing as the children are left to themselves unsupervised and wild. This goes against scripture regarding training and discipline. It enables ungodly behavior to occur. Community socializing, celebrating, or what have you, should not take the place of individual family time.
I do not believe any of us should be flaunting or pushing personal liberties on others that may be offensive, but instead, we should be willing to give things up in order not to offend for the glory of Christ.
I will be visiting churches in this area. We are also looking at other areas.
We do not leave with any anger or malice towards any. We love the people at the _______ , and will miss seeing them. We hope to maintain healthy supportive friendships that are glorifying to Christ.
I give you all this information not as a means to start an on-going debate, I have no interest in that. I do so, to express clearly my reasons for leaving and am hopeful that this will be accepted in love and peace.
Let us let our consciences be held captive to Christ and God judge our hearts.
Soli Deo Gloria!
Blessings-Respectfully,
********************
We also sent brief letters to the people who we saw each week at the meeting, letting them know that we believed we needed to leave because of conscience to scripture and Christ. We told each what we appreciated about them and that we wanted to leave in peace and without malice. Some sent us very kind encouraging letters back.
No elder ever called us, or tried to contact us that we are aware of in any way after this other than through letters from the session. The letters were of a provocative and sarcastic nature. My husband was told, "be a man". We were sent a mock letter from them changing the wording my husband had written in his letter above, as if it were from my husband to me and he was leaving our marriage. It then stated that I could not trust my husband. To them, leaving their church is equal to leaving the marriage.
My husband was told he was being summoned to "repent from his sin and rebellion" and that the session was not interested in his differences and would not discuss them. He was also told to refer back to his vows. We had no copy of the words said over us when we joined the church. My husband called one of the new elders and was not allowed to say much. This man was not as sarcastic or unkind as the letters had been, but it was a one-sided conversation. He was kind enough to send us the "vows". Here is what was said:
Do you acknowledge yourself to be a sinner in the sight of God, justly deserving His displeasure and without hope save in His sovereign mercy? Do you?
Do you believe in the Lord Jesus Christ as the Son of God and Savior of Sinners, and do you receive and depend upon Him alone for salvation as He is offered in the Gospel? Do you?
Do you now resolve and promise, in humble reliance upon the grace of the Holy Spirit, that you will endeavor to live as becomes the followers of Christ? Do you?
Do you promise to serve Christ in His church by supporting and participating in its worship and work to the best of you ability? Do you?
Do you submit yourself to the government and discipline of the church and promise to further its purity and peace? Do you?
Now in our view, we followed these completely. We still fully believe those things. We never believed that it meant we would stay under the control of the elders if we believed what they taught and practiced were contrary to the Bible's teaching. One of the main reasons we left was in order to keep the peace. We knew we needed to study more and we also knew that we could not stay under this kind of leadership because we truly did and do believe it contradicts Christ and His Word. We are not trying to do anything but be obedient...though we do so as sinful, fallen people, we cling to our Redeemer and His Word for truth.
We never thought that the fifth point meant their specific group, but we still would agree to all the above. However, we are no longer under those elders. We are not ready to jump into a membership to appease people. We do meet regularly with another meeting of the church and we continue to study and pray for direction. We have not left the church of Jesus Christ, we have not forsaken the meeting of the church of Jesus Christ. We have however, left the group that we could not find agreement with Biblically.
However, we do not see church membership in scripture in the New Testament. We see that widows were on a role, but other than that there is no clear teaching of this that we have seen. We believe it is because there was no need. There were not denominations, and the people met together according to their location.
We received a letter stating that John could: die, be excommunicated, or, if the elders chose, they could release him to membership in another church. However, John was told by the elder whom he telephoned that the elders would only consider releasing him if he were to "repent from the sin and rebellion of vow-breaking" and place himself under their complete authority without reservation. He was told that if he did, it could take up to a few years for release. John could not do this as it would cause him to violate Scripture. He believed that the teachings and practices were a strong negative environment for our children, and that it was his responsibility before Christ to protect his family from this.
We were phoned by concerned folks who have seen how others have been treated in the past. We were told we were to be made an example of so others would not try to leave.
We have been told a blow by blow description of one of the meetings that the heads of household of the church attended. It was described to us as being like a mob. The expression used by the person telling it was that they had never before seen such "cold hatred" toward others from those who profess Christ. A man in the church was said to have sworn and used course language in calling my husband a name I cannot repeat.
We were told that an elder prophesied that we would lose all our children to rebellion for leaving their church.
-We were not there to hear any of this, so we are taking this person's word for it.
The entire church shunned us. We were told that they were told that we were not to be acknowledge or they would be under the same "discipline" as we were. We have had people cry and tell us they want out but are afraid.
We then received a letter from the session stating that they were moving forward with our excommunication and that once it was completed we would:
"Be considered out of the saving grace of the father and our souls would be sent to the devil".
This was a real confirmation to us that we had done the right thing by leaving when we did. Our Redeemer Jesus Christ holds us firmly in His strong hand and no man can pluck us out.
Why do we bring this up now, six months after the fact?
Well the main reason is that people continue to read our website and want to go to the church meeting we attend. (Please look on our side-bar under what church do you endorse?).
Also, we want to encourage others to look to scripture alone and learn from what we have gone through.
Do not be pressured into joining anything without wisely considering scripture against what is taught and practiced - even if others are pushing you to do so.
Last night an odd thing happened as well. At 8:30 PM while my husband and sons were out playing tennis an elder from the former church and another man appeared at our door without calling or letting us know they were coming... We have never heard from this elder since we left the church 6 months ago, and the other man was very aggressive to my husband in conversation when we left the church. I had already gotten ready for bed and was not dressed to receive people. After hearing of the meeting regarding our family, I was even a bit fearful. I cracked the door a bit and told them right away that John was not home, and that if they called first they would be likely to get a hold of him. They walked away from the door and on their drive out they passed John and the boys and returned to our house. They acted very odd and said they were trying to appeal to John to repent again. This is quite strange after six months of being shunned and never being phoned since the event occurred. We had hoped that perhaps they were coming to apologize and restore friendship. This was not the case.
We are thinking that perhaps their Presbytery has not excommunicated us since they never contacted us in person, have only summoned John to subject to their complete authority and place himself under their control. They have not shown us any love or kindness through any of this at any time. All communication has been provoking, sarcastic, and malicious. They have only made demands. It is the most anti-Christian example I've ever personally seen lived out from a group professing Christ.
We have been informed of things that both of these men who showed up at the door, were said to have said about us. If it is true that they said these things, it was unkind and not truthful. But it would be one person's word against another and ...we are unwilling to expose the people who have contacted us.
We do believe there are precious, sweet Christians who are still part of this group. Our prayer is that they would either be delivered out without problems, or that God would change the hearts of those who misuse their positions to promote agendas not found in the Bible.
We have not been perfect through all of this. There have been times when I have had ill feelings toward the leader of the group. But I do now pray for him to change or to be exposed so that those who are in the body of Christ may be led in the truth and beauty of the gospel of Jesus Christ found only in His inerrant, authoritative word.
Here is the good that God worked in our lives through all this. It has drawn our family closer and we are united in purpose to be "Bereans" and search out the scripture for truth instead of just reading books about the scriptures by fallible men. Some books are great, but they are not God's word. Whenever we doubt something or have a question, we know where to turn...the Bible.
When we were shunned by this group, I didn't know any other people in this area. We had only lived here a year and a half and everyone we knew was at that church. But God in His grace and kindness to us, brought some wonderful precious like-minded people along our path very soon after we left the other group. We have been so encouraged by them. Other friends who didn't even know what we had gone through contacted us; it was such an encouragement.
Our children have had relatives and new friends helping celebrate their birthdays this year. Even the little things, God has provided for us so sweetly.
We have enjoyed one of the best summers ever with family and friends and this has given us such an appreciation for all we have been so bountifully blessed with.
I do pray that I, and the rest of the family, have also learned a lesson in graciousness. Through being treated so badly, I've seen that we need to be kind to others in the body of Christ. I've seen in scripture over and over again that LOVE is the key to how we are to treat one another. We can disagree, and even strongly...but let it always be done so in love for those in the body who have been made in the similitude of God.
May Christ be glorified, and may we be obedient... no matter what the cost!
"Either we are unfaithful in order to be popular, or we are willing to be unpopular in our determination to be faithful. I very much doubt if it is possible to be faithful and popular at the same time. I fear we have to choose." -- John Stott
Eccl. 12:13~ Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God and keep His commandments for this is man's all.
Matt. 22: 37-38~Jesus said to him, "You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and great commandment.
Jn. 14:15~ "If you love Me, keep My commandments."
solus Christus, sola scriptura, sola gratia, sola fide, soli Deo gloria!
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