Letters re: The Children of Tyranny
Below is some feedback we've received so far on Richard Hudson's The Children of Tyranny.
From: holly_pietsch@yahoo.com
Date: August 23, 2004 2:13:53 PM PDT
To: Battered Sheep Ministry
Dear Richard,
Wow! The range of emotions I am feeling right now is beyond expression. I have just finished reading your Children of Tyranny. My heart began beating faster as all the memories, both good and bad, came flooding back.
My name is Holly Pietsch, maiden name Holly Poulter-daughter of Bill and Vicki Poulter, formerly of the Los Angeles assembly. I was a member of "The Group" for the first 18 years of my life (1966-1985). Due to the nature of my father's job, our family moved a lot. As children, moving was very exciting most of the time because this meant that we got to move to another assembly. We had relatives in most of the California assemblies.
We attended the LA Assembly for most of the years I was a part of the group. Three-and-a-half years before our "marking" my dad was transferred to the San Luis Obispo Sears Store, as the store manager. What an opportunity! Not only was this a great move for Daddy--his first store, but we were moving to an assembly with a lot of cousins as well as long time friends. Little did I know what was in store for our family.
It wasn't long before we began to realize the division that was going on in the assembly. There was definitely the "in-crowd" of which we were a part, but only because we were new and we were related to one of the big families in the "Yes, sir!" group. I could go on in great detail over the many comments and conversations that went on between my relatives about one of the families on the fringe and one that was eventually marked. Little did my relatives know at the time that our family had some of the same feelings as the families they were talking so badly about. I will, however, stick to a few memories that have never faded, for they have left their indelible mark that only hurt and viciousness can do.
These memories may seem trivial, but they go to show the nature of this "group" mentality and the conformity that must be adhered to to maintain status and good standing.
- I wore black leotards and those were considered a little "racy" at the time. I remember someone saying something to my mother about them. My choice of clothing, while always modest, was not consistent with what most of the girls wore. I did not have all the lace and ruffles that seemed to add to a meek and quiet spirit.
- My sister and I chose to sit with my parents on the side pews of the Grange Hall, instead of sitting with the girls in the second row. I vividly remember that row as a young teenage girl--every girl had long, flowing hair, combed, curled, and ribboned to perfection--God says it is a women's glory and it was as if God's word wasn't enough, no, they were going to prove it. Was your's trimmed? Ratted? Cut? I sure hope not! Did you have the right look? I sure hope so!! It was obvious that some did not approve of the fact that my sister and I did not fall into line and sit with the girls in the second row!!
- Mama and Daddy once decided to have a family over for dinner. Mama got reprimanded by the wife who said, "Bill (my father) needed to call her husband for the invite." As if my mother hadn't already run it by my father!! What were they calling Daddy then? Was he not the head of the household, capable of making a decision?
- The last and most memorable--One Sunday morning during "meeting", Gordy Grant got up and said that there needed to be "better attendance" by some. I don't remember the context of the entire meeting, but I do remember that the comment was directed to mainly three families, of which mine was one. After the meeting there was a men's meeting. My mother had not come to meeting that day, so when daddy was in the men's meeting, we kids were forced to hang around waiting until it was over. I will never forget the feeling I had that day. We were left out of every conversation and group. Everyone there knew that the meeting was about our (us and the other kids) dads. I could feel them staring at us and when we went to leave they opened up as if the Red Sea was parting and we walked through. I did not, however, feel like the children of Israel, I felt as if I were walking the gauntlet in front of a jeering crowd. Not a word was spoken, though, everyone just stared as we walked by. Some of these people were my own relatives. Bear in mind, I was 18, my sister Heidi 20, and I had two younger brothers, Shane and Clint, 16 and 10 respectively. We were just kids. If they thought for one instant that that kind of behavior would win us over they were wrong. (This particular incident will be expounded upon in detail in an upcoming entry.)
Our family was marked soon after. Basically we were marked because we disagreed with the markings of others. My sister and I received our own marking letters a year later. We both were never contacted by anyone in the group to let us know it (the marking) was coming, or were we given a chance to speak for ourselves. I am not completely sure, but I don't think that anyone still attending the "Group" would know why we were marked --with real certainty and backed up with scripture. I do know that we were thrown in with all the others that did not blindly follow the leadership. (Domino Effect)
I know my dad to be one of the fairest and most trustworthy men I have ever known. He loves the Lord with all his heart and strives to live a life that is pleasing to God. He has a strong personality and a mind of his own, but that does not mean he is not open to following the will of God. He knows the difference between right and wrong and ALWAYS sticks up for what he believes is right. Anyone in the group that knows my father will know that to be true about him.
It was not easy for Daddy to take a stand against everything and everyone he had known since a child. It was not easy to take his family from a lifetime of memories, family, and friends. It was not easy for him to take the "marking" without ever having a chance for a "fair trial" as you have requested, Richard. It was, however, EASY for him to rest assured that he was following God's will for his life and the welfare of his family. My father has NEVER second guessed his decision to remove his family from what he saw as the downward spiral of a misguided group of believers under misguided and evil leadership.
I am truly thankful for the example my father has set for our family and for his taking a stand against what I know to be wrong. God had richly blessed our family. We have not gone by the wayside as earlier predicted.
I do not have hope of ever going back to the group. I don't think it could be possible to have a relationship with God and stand under the wickedness that is so pervasive among the leadership. I know that I will see most of my family, friends, and fellow believers in heaven where we will spend eternity rejoicing together.
I am truly thankful that I have my parents and immediate family to fellowship with. I cannot begin to understand what it must be like to have family that is still locked up in that group.
My motivation for writing this letter was spurred on when you (Richard) recounted the story of your granddaughter racing to the back to yell out the door to you. My heart broke and tears came to my eyes, and I could not imagine my own daughters, Jaly and Abby, not being able to run to their grandpa and shower him with love. I must admit the feeling I had was pure anger. I wanted to run to the phone, dial Jeff Grove, and give him a piece of my mind. Imagine the field day they (the group) would have with that!!!
As I am a mother now, I can't imaging having my children turn against me, especially if it was caused by someone that is supposedly entrusted by God to lead his flock. My heart and prayers go out to you and your family--and all families that have been torn apart in the name of God.
The rhetoric with which John Morey used in his response to your request for a fair trial is oh so familiar. I can understand your frustration because I witnessed my own father's frustration and helplessness over many of the same issues. (You will find a detailed explanation of my father's experience with John Morey in my next letter). I find it downright amazing that John Morey can so easily jump on Uncle Robert's bandwagon. He isn't really on the bandwagon as fully as Robert thinks. John Morey has had contact with some that are marked and has associated with marked people. Does that seem fair? I find it frustrating when I hear stories of marked people being able to see loved ones in the group. It isn't fair. I cannot condemn them, though, because I understand the feeling of wanting to keep the bond of fellowship open. I just happen to be related to some of the really staunch avoiders. I would love to see some of my relatives again. Although, while Uncle Jim and Aunt Sue were two of my favorites, I am not sure I would recognize them as the same people. Leadership, power, and money have changed them. Yes, I did say money, which leads me to my next thought.
I have heard stories of the coercion that goes on with the elderly regarding their finances (documentation available). They are being told to turn everything over to the ministry. Some leaders are being paid exorbitant fees for tearing families apart, instilling fear in their congregations, and marking anyone who crosses their path.
John is not the only hypocrite in the group. So many in the group still have contact with friends and relatives that have been marked. They just keep the secrets from the leaders or from people they know might turn them in. The hypocrisy goes even deeper. Some members of the same family don't even heed the markings in the same manner. I find it sad that you were marked for helping your son, while I know of others who attend funerals, knowing that they will be attended by a large group of marked Christians. We who are at the funeral know that we have to keep it "quiet". I guess we should be grateful that they have blessed us with their presence, we who are so reproachful and "marked to be avoided."
I remember going to Disneyland as children. My parents would take us every 3-4 years. It was something that we kids had to keep to ourselves. Imagine being a child and wanting to share the excitement and not being able to because we might offend someone or put our family in a bad light. I am thankful my dad did not completely cave to the pressure of leadership. Even though it is strange that we had to keep it a secret, Daddy only taught us to do this because he didn't want to offend anyone. He didn't think it was wrong, but "for the sake of unity" we were told to keep it under our hats. (Remember the Disneyland Camp???)
I bet if you surveyed most of my cousins my age and younger they would not even know why they couldn't talk to us. I wonder if they know there was a camp where fathers were standing up telling the congregation that if Disneyland was a problem they wouldn't take their kids there anymore. Do they go to Disneyland now? Have the rules changed? Do they have television now? Or, do they just have monitors which allow access to the same materials? Are they allowed to have computers which come loaded with a lot more dangers than televisions? Or, are they forced to lie and keep secrets to maintain good standing? I wonder?
For the most part, with the passing of time the scars have faded and the hurt, anger, and frustration over what my family and many other families experienced has subsided. It is only by hearing the occasional story or latest escapade by upper "group" leadership that the old wounds start to act up. My response is usually one of disbelief and utter disgust over what these leaders, two of them being my uncles, are being allowed to perpetrate towards both fearful and very confused sheep.
I know to many this letter may be hard to understand, especially if you were not raised in the "group". Perhaps I have not expressed my heart as clearly as I would have liked. I have just tipped the iceberg of my personal story. So many times I have wanted to send a letter, but knowing how to start seemed too overwhelming. I hope in some way this helps. You are not alone in your hurt and anguish. Mine has just diminished with the passing of time.
Battered, but delivered,
Holly Pietsch
From: carolineslangford@yahoo.com
Date: July 23, 2004 10:02:40 AM PDT
To: Battered Sheep Ministry
Subject: Children of Tyranny
Hello Richard, long time no see! I have been reading your written work and at first was greatly horrified as I had tried to shove all my past behind me and not think about it. As time has gone by I read more and realized that all I lived through was truly real, not a bad dream! It has also helped some of my friends who have tried to understand my past "church family" and couldn't believe what I shared with them. They always told me, "That is a cult," and I always said no, it may sound that way but there isn't any membership, etc. But in reality, the system, teachings and dealings are very cult-like!
I was born into it from birth 32-years ago and it was like the world stopped when I was shunned! Tom Collins said,"We are giving you over to God to deal with as I am not getting anywhere with you," referring to all his "marriage counseling". It didn't take but a few days and I was letting God carry me through every day! I didn't understand what was going on at the time, but now I PRAISE THE LORD THAT I AM FREE!!!!!!
God has been so good to me, I have been blessed more than I deserve!! I now have a relationship with God that I never dreamed was possible! I always thought that I had to have family and my friends for life and I was so wrong!! All I ever needed was God!! Now my life is so full of joy, peace and happiness like I have never known before and I give God all the praise for everything in my life!
Richard, I don't really know you as a person, I know who you are and I understand every emotion you are experiencing and have dealt with! I grieve with you and feel your pain, too. Now I hope that you can rejoice over the freedom of your mind and spirit that God gave you to use for Him. When thoughts from the past would sweep over me and drag me under with the pain, I would pray and give it all over to God and focus on others' trials to ease my own heart. In every little thing I do I will try to find one small blessing in it and thank God for it.
I can honestly say I am happy and rejoicing every day. Yes, I love my family and friends I used to associate with, but now God has given me lots of adopted family and friends. I am aware now more than ever that family is not the most important thing in my life!! I realize that sounds harsh, but God is first in my life, and my Christian brothers and sisters (with whom I will continue to dwell with forever) are first in my life! When I was first in the group, I believed my family and the group were all I had. That was a lie and a total falsehood! As human beings, our natural tendency is to rely on our blood family. They are highly important, but when you aren't allowed to be with them for "religious reasons", then we have to give it to God and he will supply ALL HE THINKS WE NEED! Our needs, (which may be different than what God has in store for us) can be difficult for us to give up, or easy if we give our will to Him. We only have to want to give it all to Him, and we don't have to like the fact that it's out of our control.
Richard, I know how badly you would love to reach others whose slave-driven minds are in bondage, and I pray that people will have a revealing of what they are living in and be set free of it.
You are free to repeat any of this.
A sister in Christ,
Caroline King
From: jenroberto@sbcglobal.net
Date: July 18, 2004 5:26:08 PM PDT
To: Battered Sheep Ministry
Subject: Letters re: Richard Hudson's Children of
Tyranny Chapter 5
I just read the latest installment of The Children of Tyranny. Richard Hudson's story can be told over and over again with the main character's name changed and minor details altered. I'd like to add to Richard's observations as to why people stay: fear is definitely #1, fear of the consequences for questioning leadership, fear of the unknown outside "the meetings", fear that maybe you ARE rebellious and divisive as they say. Security is a big one, too, it's a nice little insulated world where everybody knows the rules and you don't have to think. In fact, you're encouraged not to! And there is great security in knowing that the leadership is ultimately responsible -- if they're wrong, well, they'll pay the price, not you! And when you're in the midst of this, and your motives are good, you tend to look for the good in everyone else. In hindsight, I think everyone who's ever left that group regrets that they didn't do it earlier but it takes a while for your vision to clear and even longer to realize that you can't clear everyone else's vision for them!
On a personal note, I remember one camp meeting where Robert Grove was railing on the subject of the "inner and outer circles of the church" -- the inner circle containing only our group and the outer circle containing all other Christians who just hadn't figured out yet that we were it! I had a friend in high school at the time who had been an incredible example to me of Christ living in and through a Christian. As Robert spoke of the outer circle, I remember thinking, "He's talking about Kate." And I knew with absolute clarity at that moment that he was wrong because Kate was not in an outer circle in God's eyes! Kate lost the battle with cancer last year and is home with the Lord now, but I will be forever thankful for the testimony of that life on "the outside" that showed me there was nothing to fear.
Jennie Roberto
From: zoso_bonzo@lycos.com
Date: May 27, 2004 5:31:18 AM PDT
To: Battered Sheep Ministry
Subject: Letters re: Richard Hudson's Tyranny 4
Richard's accounts in this series demonstrate how really frustrating it can be pleading for help from one who does not have your best interest in mind. Church leader John Morey clearly is concerned more about maintaining his own status in the church than in helping a brother in need. Richard committed the one unforgivable sin in this church: he questioned the leadership's decision making. If you think independently, you are a threat.
Before I met Richard earlier this year through the Battered Sheep Web site, I felt as if I was searching in vain for information regarding this same church and same leaders that Richard speaks of. For almost 25 years, I have been associated with this group, from 1980 to 1992 as a member in (relatively) good standing, and for the last dozen years as a former member who too was excommunicated at one point. I did gain "readmittance" near the end of my tenure with the group, only to soon renounce the whole thing once and for all after a personal meeting with Robert Grove, the head of the group and his son, Scott Grove, who oversees the East Coast assemblies, which I was a part of. Richard was part of the Texas branch, I was in Maryland/Virginia, and others are in California, Eastern Canada, Mexico and Peru. Thank God for the World Wide Web!
As a lawyer, I was not popular with the leadership and was looked at with suspicion. Too much thinking, studying, learning, questioning, inquiring, doubting, scrutinizing.... Not the kind of thing that will make you popular with the leaders of a group that seeks to control its members through ignorance, guilt, threats of extreme excommunication (dividing nuclear families over trivial matters), pressures to conform to arbitrary codes of dress and appearance and conduct. Not the kind of folks you would expect to care about the "Rule of Law." Should the Christian churches apply due process protections to church members today who are being "disciplined" by leadership?
When the New Testament was written, the Greeks had already established the jury trial concept, and the Romans had perfected what would be the precursor to our laws today that provide for due process, right to counsel, trials, appeals, etc. The following is from a Web site discussing the history of Roman law (sorry, I lost the cite):
"The Romans also established safeguards to assure the rights of those accused of a crime. We see this at work in the case against the Christian pioneer Saint Paul. In the New Testament, Paul is arrested - apparently for provoking a riot. The police are about to beat and jail him when Paul pipes up that he is a Roman citizen. That changes everything, and he is permitted to remain free pending a trial. Later the chief priests of Jerusalem complain about the failure to prosecute to the Roman governor, who responds with a lecture on legal rights: 'It is not the Roman custom to hand over any man before he has faced his accusers and has had an opportunity to defend himself against their charges.'"
I'd imagine such safeguards were intended or contemplated for church disputes when Matthew and 1 Corinthians were written.
A.S.
From: jimandchris@charter.net
Date: May 19, 2004 6:58:39 AM PDT
To: Battered Sheep Ministry
Subject: You got feedback
I just recently became aware of The Battered Sheep Ministry and Richard Hudson's contributions to its mission. His testimony Marked and Shunned and his series entitled The Children of Tyranny are familiar territory for me, having been involved with the same group for over twenty five years (1960-1985). My acquaintance with Richard was brief, seeing him only at a few gatherings during infrequent travels to Texas from California.
John Morey, whom Richard has appealed to in his letters, I knew quite well. John was never highly regarded by his leadership peers in the California area, but being well-fitted with the eminent ability of a crafty politician, he has survived as a "leader" in that sect. Robert Grove, whom Richard apparently plans to target in future articles, I knew even better. We went on pack trips into the mountains together; our children played together; we sometimes ministered together. But as the years went by "the leaven of the Pharisees" began rearing its ugly head. A new generation of leaders, who thought they could manage the church better than their predecessors, began the move toward centralization of control. And ominous things began to happen.
That's when Robert and I started sparring with each other. The issues were legalism, authoritarianism, exclusiveness and -- most alarming to me -- the twisting of God's Word. I was soon targeted as a "divisive" person, a "ring-leader" among the "Korahs, Dathans and Abirams" sprouting up in the assemblies. Ultimately, I was "marked-to-be-avoided" for answering in the negative two questions: "Will you retract your study on Romans 16:17-18 [Which was critical of their abusive use of that passage.]? And are you going to stand with leadership in the markings of the Tulare brethren [The wholesale excommunication of ten families in months prior]?" My wife was at my side and my children were all present at this gathering of nearly 500 brothers and sisters in Christ whom we dearly loved. Those who administered that judgment, I'm sure, considering the state of frenzy they were in, would have preferred that the earth open its mouth and swallow us up! I am not jesting! One leader (Weyman Zelder) in a vehemently delivered speech at a previous camp gathering exclaimed, "We don't have the authority to stone people to death today, but we can mark them to be avoided!"
Thus began a statewide "house-cleaning" that was to continue for a couple more years, involving many more families. Robert Grove in a message given during that inquisition made the remark that he's "not the least bit concerned if it gets down to just three or four of us who are standing true to God!" John Morey was present on that occasion and apparently didn't object. In ridding itself of the "leaven" that was creating a bubble of gas in the "only viable representation of Christ's church on earth today," (Robert Groves terminology; which ipso facto makes him an elite leader in the body of Christ!) the leaders of this religious movement persisted in maintaining that the purpose for their "disciplining" us was to produce "a clean and quick restoration to fellowship." It didn't happen! Eighteen years later not a single soul has returned to place themselves under the lordship of those men or to breathe the stale air of such an exclusive environment. My family and I have been richly blessed since our departure from that group (somewhat contrary to the "evils" prophesied!), and we are rejoicing in the liberty the Lord has so graciously called us to. We still hear echoes of slanderous sayings about us, but that only serves to make us more thankful for the Lord's deliverance.
Jim Langford, Templeton, CA
From: tbogeman@houston.rr.com
Date: May 18, 2004 8:32:20 AM PDT
To: Battered Sheep Ministry
Subject: Letters re: Richard Hudson
The fact that my brother, Richard, and I BOTH believe in the deity of Jesus Christ and have given our lives to Him has always made us co-heirs in Christ Jesus. Our differences within this belief are "just a shadow" of things to come when Jesus Christ returns for us. But some of these things have kept us apart for a long time. These "things" did not change what Richard is. He is an honest, strong, and intelligent man. Although not a perfect human being, I believe he is a loving husband, father and grandfather. He has put his family first even when embracing the beliefs that he now knows to be erroneous. He and Sherry have raised fine sons and daughters.
Because of his entanglement in this group, we have not been able to enjoy a strong relationship over the past 20 years. Although our family are all believers in Christ, we were not "kosher" according to "them"; thus putting a chasm between us and our son/brother. We hardly know his children or grandchildren; he hardly knows ours. This is unusual for an otherwise close knit family.
I have never prayed that Richard would see things exactly like I see them, although being a Hudson, I knew I was right (one of our infamous traits). I have always prayed that God would lead us both in His truth and I believe God honors that prayer.
I am thankful to God that Richard's eyes have been opened to the truth concerning this abusive leadership and that truth has set him free.
Once again I sense in him the brother I knew BT (before Tom). He is renewing his relationship with our parents and with his sisters. He does not denounce our Christianity because we do not agree on everything. I am overjoyed at being able to have good conversations with him! I sense he is more tolerant of my faults and less interested in "lording" it over me. He is hungry for the truth and is convicted to stand where God wills him to, no matter the consequences.
I sorrow over the trials he must endure to stand up to this tyranny and I sorrow that his children cannot see the tragedy in this, but God is gracious and He will prevail. My prayers continue on for truth to be known by all God's children. We ALL need that prayer; for none of us are without human error at one time or the other. Thinking that we have got it all right puts us in a dangerous position of being prideful thus becoming deaf to God's voice. Our need to maintain humility while continuing to have God's truths revealed to us is extremely vital.
There is an awakening going on concerning the "running" of God's churches. More and more saints are going back to the scriptures to study the New Testament church. What we find may go against the way we have done "church" for many years. Whatever happens, may God's will be done.
Stand strong, brother. We are interceding for you and your family and we pray God will open the eyes of this leadership and bring them to repentance. For that matter, we are praying that God will turn the modern day church into the bride of Christ that Christ is coming to collect. Let none be left behind!
Maranatha.
We love you.
Living in the midst of His grace,
Teresa
From: Anonymous
Subject: Children of Tyranny
Date: May 14, 2004 1:56:03 PM PDT
To: Battered Sheep Ministry
I have a very dear friend who was part of the same group Mr. Hudson was a part of. It was originally begun in the 1920s by a man named Maurice Johnson. My friend was with the group for many years, and because of it, I can see the evidences of 'mind control' exercised over him during his time with them (he left the group a few years ago).
My heart went out to Mr. Hudson when I read his story about how his family is being taught to avoid him. I pray that one day his family will realize this avoidance is wrong, and will reconcile with him. I wish that each person in the group of 'marked' people and others hurt by this group could realize the marking and pain of others (I understand there are A LOT of people who have been marked by them), so they'd know that they are not alone, and could know the extent of it. I think it could help with healing, and also with relieving denial that some ex-group members may be experiencing -- thinking that they are wrong, rather than the extent to which the group is wrong (and they are wrong on much more than just 'marking' people -- they seem to want to be a mediator between the Christian and Christ, as if they, the 'leadership', had an ability to understand and follow the Lord better than the 'followers' of the group, but ALL born again Christians have the SAME Holy Spirit in us to guide us, convict us, and help us understand God's Word and He speaks to us through it).
I did purchase and read a book that Mr. Hudson suggested (The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse). It sounded so familiar, although I've never read it before. There are amazing similarities, and it helped me understand better how my friend thinks, and why. Seeing the effects of this group from the outside (I was never a part of the group, but have had an abundance of discussions with my friend, and have, on occasion, seen folks from this group in a store or restaurant), it is very easy to see the inconsistencies and hypocrisy that exist within it. Such as the fact that they are strong proponents of obeying those that have authority over you (even if they are wrong, because THEY will be the ones held accountable to God, not you) and that the father/husband is the head of the home (Ephesians 5:23, Ephesians 6:1, Colossians 3:20), but then encouraging families to obey the group leaders rather than the father/husband, by marking him and encouraging the family members in retaining a degree of loyalty to the group.
In addition, other inconsistencies have become apparent to me through reading the website associated with the group (www.bibletruths.org). The total submission they seem to desire from their followers and the marking/shunning of those who do not comply to their group (seemingly so that they cannot influence other members, and to make an example of them, thus instilling a fear in others that they themselves might be 'marked') screams of the word 'cult'. This group seems to want to replace the position and work of the Holy Spirit in the lives of the believers (John 16:7-8).
The Holy Spirit is to lead us; human men are not to be our conscience. We should not be following man (which their leaders seem to desire -- since they want this degree of obedience in 'daily' decisions, not just issues pertaining to the Bible and Christian living), we should be following CHRIST. I pray that one day my friend will 'recover' from this groups' previous influence/lordship over him. Also, that Mr. Hudson will be reunited with his family one day, and that those still under the control of this group would realize that it is not biblical, and will be brave enough to come out, even though it will be difficult, and trust the Lord to carry them through as they follow HIS will for their lives.
Proverbs 3:5-7: "Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil."
From: Bookworm
To: rehud1@hotmail.com
Sent: Wednesday, April 28, 2004 11:18 AM
Subject: Praise the Lord!
Dear Mr. Hudson,
My name is Jennie Roberto and I am the daughter of Jim Langford. I just want to express my heartfelt appreciation and gratitude for the work you are doing through "Battered Sheep" and your other writings and efforts to reach and rescue those still trapped in the bondage of what we call "the group." I was 18 when Daddy was marked, and I was included in the shunning because of, well, I'm not exactly sure why! But even then I viewed it as liberation in spite of the heartache of being rejected by my beloved older brother. We have had the great joy and privilege of walking in freedom in Christ and fellowship with wonderful Christians since that time.
And, more recently, there has been the incredible blessing of a reunion with David, Phil, and Caroline Langford! This has done so much to renew my hope after years of emotionally detaching from all those who were so much a part of my childhood. And then to be introduced to the "Battered Sheep" web site and see OUR story being told and you taking such a proactive stand in the fight against the "tyranny" has been an added encouragement. I have often felt so helpless through the years, wishing there was something I could DO! Praise God that you have found the way!
My heart goes out to you in recognition of the incredible pain of the separation from your family. I have seen that pain in my parents through the years as they were subjected to rejection after rejection by my brother and denied access to their precious granddaughters. I can only hope and pray, for my brother's sake especially, that he will see the truth and reconcile with them before it is too late and he must bear the regret for the rest of his life.
Thank you again for the work you are doing on behalf of so many!
Your sister in Christ,
Jennie Roberto
benchmark-jennie@sbcglobalnet
From: "Mary McAllister"
To: <rehud1@hotmail.com>
Sent: Sunday, April 11, 2004 4:27 AM
Subject: John Morey - A Blind Leader!
Dear Richard:
I just finished reading your latest article regarding communications between yourself and John Morey. The discernment in my heart in reading these letters was that you were reaching out in the spirit realm to a brother in Christ with whom you admired. I sensed that you "poured" out your heart and life to him; only to have it ripped out. And this from a man of God. I noticed "peculiarly" that this leader quotes the scriptures adeptly and profusely. Yet, I never sensed any love at all. I felt the anguish of your soul as you painstakingly attempted to paint the stage of your life to allow another to glimpse into that realm. Then, I felt the pain as that "picture" was ripped apart without so much as a backward glance. Without so much as love.
I, too, have a daughter. I love her, despite the many heartaches she has unwittingly caused me. I gather that I've also caused as much heartaches to my loving heavenly Father who has ALWAYS unconditionally forgiven me. There is a gap between love and abuse; that is, a conditional factor. Do we love others conditionally or unconditionally? I will always love my daughter unconditionally and, I hope, that she will do likewise for me. That is Christ-like love; unconditional. Abuse stems from a conditional love.
I was married to an abusive Pastor who used guilt, intimidation, ridicule, and control to kill my soul. He almost succeeded. The "group" he fellowshipped with were of the same cloth. They took great pride in "controlling" their sheep. Not God's sheep; but their sheep. My ex-husband used God's word against me, not to build me up, but to tear me down. I was not allowed to make mistakes; his love towards me was conditional. If I listened, obeyed, worshipped, respected, and revered him, our marriage was "okay." The minute I had one independent thought that came into conflict with his opinions, the spiritual atmosphere changed. You could almost cut it with a knife it was so palpable. I always wondered what exactly happened in the "air" as this cool surge of air rushed into the room during these sorts of episodes. The biblical scriptures would start to be flung at me as a weapon. The hate, pride, and self-loathing came out of him, but was directed at me. You see, what I sensed in this man's letter to you, was hate, pride, and self-loathing. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. How could you love yourself when you hate someone in Christ? It is theoretically not possible; at least, not in God's book. The Pharisees and Sadducees also quoted scripture to Jesus when He healed His own sheep. Jesus was not at all engrossed with "religion"; in fact, He hated it. It was these "highly exalted leaders" that He especially condemned for their piousness.
They remind me of a chalice that is washed on the outside, but filled with divers iniquities on the inside. Jesus instructed them to clean the inside of the cup first and then the outside would also be clean. He admonished these leaders that from the abundance of their hearts, their mouths speak. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit.
As I read that response from this "leader" (and I say that with anguish of spirit), I felt my whole body tense. I felt something within me begin to grieve. I felt the Holy Spirit begin to stir within me and an anger beginning to birth. A holy anger; how dare man take the place of God? Judge not, lest you be judged. For with the measure that you mete out, it shall be measured back unto you. No man or woman on this earth would ever be able to make me hate my own daughter and inflict them with such atrocities (and all in the name of God). How God must be grieved when we sacrifice our own children to the fire - doing SINS in His name; sins that He sent His only begotten son to destroy. Love is more powerful than hate; blessings are more powerful than punishment; honesty is more powerful than hypocrisy. I did not sense any love, forgiveness or compassion in this man's letter.
When I left my husband and sought the Pastor's support and encouragement, I was met with this sort of arrogant "judgment". A judgment that kills, maims, and wounds. This sort of judgment has no other purpose than to destroy; and that's exactly what it does. I was fortunate that God loved me so much (as he does the whole world) that he did not allow me to come under this man's, this Church's, and my husband's condemnation. I choose life; not death.
For in the latter days, household shall rise up against household; daughter-in-law against mother-in-law; father against son; and daughter against mother. Who would have thought that the great apostasy would have been birthed through supposedly God's "vessel?" I would not have entertained that idea for a moment. However, it stands to reason that the people who profess to be Christians and that are deceived, would have to be deceived in a way where they do not know that they are being deceived. What better way to deceive than by using God's word? In the word of God, it states that in the end times, people will kill Christians with the attitude that they are doing God a favour. Those days are here, brother in Christ. Those days are here. The Great Apostasy is at the door. The Nicolaitans are arriving onto the scene.
I will leave you with one last thought. A few months prior to my leaving my husband for the last and final time, I was awoken by this warning. The warning was "frightening" and, at the time, I had no inkling what the word meant. I was sleeping and I woke up so suddenly as though my whole bed were being shaken. I was trembling from head to foot. My husband was frightened as he had been awoken also, but didn't know by what. He did not hear what I heard, but he sensed something in the air. I heard a loud, thunderous voice in my ears, "Beware of the Nicolaitans." I had no idea at the time who the Nicolaitans were. In fact, I had not read about them anywhere; at least, not to my knowledge. It wasn't until many years later after some research that I found the word in the bible. They were a group who were deeply religious; they appeared to be on the right path, but yet were not. The people were admonished to beware of them. In fact, the book I am currently reading, "The Harlot Church", speaks of this group.
The Nicolaitans are precisely the nature of this man who responded to you in that letter. I felt no love, no compassion, no understanding, and most definitely, no forgiveness. I felt your pleading for his understanding, much like the way I pleaded with my Pastor to understand the dire paths I was on as a result of an abusive, controlling husband. But to no avail; instead, I was met with consternation and was labeled contentious, controlling, angry, mean, spiteful, and unsubmissive. All the characteristics I had observed that they possessed. For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of love, of power and of a sound mind. God is not the author of fear, but of love. Control, intimidation, and abuse all stem from their master --> FEAR. These men control, intimidate, and abuse out of fear. Manly, earthly fears of losing control. WOW! God help them. I will continue to pray for this man, John. I will continue to pray for your situation as well. Stand strong in the Lord; and when all is said and done, remain standing in Christ. Sometimes, the paths we are on are meant to break path for those behind us. God bless you! I will keep looking for updates on your situation.
A sister in Christ,
Mary
From: "Robert Krusen"
To: <rehudson1@hotmail.com>
Sent: Sunday, April 04, 2004 6:29 AM
Subject: Greetings and Good Cheer
As I was doing some research last night on the computer, the import of your last message really struck me. You expressed the heavy weight you felt from your experiences with the church and your family and how your energy was sapped. I thought how difficult this must be. My experience, although similar in many respects, is also quite different in that I have no family connections to the church. As I come to an even greater realization of the extent of the damages that these wolves in sheep's clothing who call themselves ministers of God inflict upon decent, godly people, my resolve increases. As I thought about your story, I asked God to give you strength and comfort and joy and peace. I truly appreciate the work you are doing, and if I hadn't found your story on Battered Sheep, I would be trying to figure out on my own what to do. So, I want to let you know that you have encouraged me a great deal.
Bob
From: "Mary McAllister"
To: <rehud1@hotmail.com>
Sent: Thursday, April 01, 2004 9:58 PM
Subject: Your Story
Dear Richard:
I finally got a chance to read your story in full - I wept. I wept for your mother and father-in-law. I wept that the Church today, as we know it, is so cruel. We kill our own. I was reminded as I was reading your story of when the Sadducees and the Pharisees condemned Jesus for healing on a Sabbath. They were more engrossed with following the rudiments of man than they were in saving one person from pain. They did not see what Jesus was doing in love and compassion; they only saw what Jesus possessed that they did not. They were, therefore, jealous of this "truth" that was in Christ; a truth that exposed them. A truth that exposed their vileness and wickedness. Yes, they actually believed they were in the right. So help us all.
In Revelations 3 - the Spirit was speaking to the Church of Sardis. The warning was, "I know all the things you do, and that you have a reputation for being alive - but you are dead. Now wake up! Strengthen what little remains, for even what is left is at the point of death. Your deeds are far from right in the sight of God." This is a Church (a body of believers) who faithfully believe that they are on fire for God. In fact, even other groups believed they were on fire for God also. Man, what a deception! I am so fearful for these "people" who rip up a person's soul for the purpose of "punishment." That duty does not belong to no man; that aspect of punishment belongs to God and God alone. It was never intended for man to punish each other. In fact, when the disciple asked Jesus how many times we are to forgive our brothers, he responded, "Seventy times seven." Wow, that is an awful lot of times to forgive. No where in the bible does it say to "mark" and "punish" those who do not conform to our doctrines. Instead, the bible admonishes us as believers to win those over with LOVE. Love covers a multitude of sins.
I am so grateful that you have a lot of people who are encouraging you in our wonderful Lord. I am from Canada and while I am not physically near your predicament, I am spiritually there praying for you, brother. God is exposing this Church. God is sifting the wheat from the chaff. He is doing a shaking up so that which is strong will remain and that which is weak, will come down. Amen! Amen! It just bothers my spirit so much that so called Christians will hurt each other this much. There are many other Church's that will also be coming down.
You are a very fluent and articulate writer. I understand the "trial" that you are currently standing in. Say to that mountain, be thou removed and be thou cast into the sea. For if we believe with our hearts, it shall be done. Keep writing your stories. Keep informing the lost. Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. There is no other than Jesus the Christ. I exhort you to continue fighting the good fight of faith. God bless you, brother. You are already a blessing to me.
A sister and friend in Christ,
Mary
From: Mary McAllister
To: rehud1@hotmail.com
Sent: Tuesday, March 30, 2004 7:00 PM
Subject: Battered Sheep Story
Dear Richard Hudson:
I know your pain. I escaped this kind of a church environment 6 years ago. I have also posted my story My Story of Being a Battered Sheep on the same website. I know of the abuse a Christian undertakes when they are moved by the Holy Spirit to find the "truth" and the religious institution is opposed to the "truth." Very sad that this is the state of our Churches today.
I read two books, "Why do Christians shoot their wounded?" and "Battered into Submission" that were so healing for me. My ex-husband was one of these "abusers" and my pastor encouraged and supported his abuse. I was in ministry and as a result of breaking away and exposing this "Wolf in Sheep's clothing Ministry" (my words, not theirs) - I lost it all. I was labeled a heretic and anti-Christ, to name a few. It was so painful, especially being accused of not submitting to my husband's cruel abuse and the Church's control. I left that system and have been used wonderfully by my Lord Jesus Christ ever since. There is hope. My husband is still in "bondage" so to speak and we are now divorced. Yet, through it all, God was my husband, redeemer, and sustainer.
I am now in Law School after working on my Psychology degree. All that pain wasn't for nothing, was it? I volunteer at a Women's support center and feel the Word of God working in my life as never before. I recognize abusive/controlling environments as soon as I'm exposed to them. The Lord is speaking to the Churches; He is uttering a wake up call. God is not mocked; for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
Take heart. God is in control and he knows what you are going through as do I, and as do a lot of other people who are being "Called Out." We are to come out of "Her" --> The Great Whore. The Church has made idols out of self-appointed pastorship. We are being warned. Before a mighty move of God, He always calls out "his people." He desires for us to worship Him in spirit and in truth. Sometimes, the truth hurts; but the truth sets us free. I worship God, not the Church as do you, and as do a lot of other "called out" ones. Praise the Lord! He is still on the throne. Keep praying for your wife and children. God knows what He is doing. I will be praying for you. I was fasting today and I felt the Lord speak to my spirit that He's moving fast in these last days. We need to be prepared. He has once again been allowing me the privilege of experiencing His "plans" and "visions" for His church. He is about to do something new. You will never go wrong if you pray to our Lord with an open heart, align your actions to His mighty word, and move in wisdom by His Holy Spirit. Those who do not conform to God's agenda will be either left behind, punished, or pushed aside and forgotten. Praise the Lord you heeded His warning. Read "The Harlot Church System" by Charles Newbold; it will revolutionize your ways of thinking. There is actually a website called "Meat in Due Season" where you can order his books for free and/or read online. I will keep you in my prayers. Just remember, with God there is always hope as He is still on the throne. I just praise our Lord that He removed you from that deceptive system. You did not go wrong; and it will only get better from here. Take care and God bless you. I hope you don't think I'm being too forward in responding to your story. I just felt your pain and excitement at finding the "Battered Sheep" website as I did a year ago and realizing that I was not alone. Feel free to respond if you like; don't feel pressured if you don't want to. Nevertheless, I will keep you in my prayers. God bless.
A sister in Christ,
Mary
From: Dave Hudson
To: Richard Hudson
Sent: Sunday, February 22, 2004 11:26 AM
Subject: Battered Sheep
Dear Richard,
At Aunt Gladys's funeral I learned from Teresa and Phyllis that you had written a piece on your experiences with the religious group you have been associated with for the last few decades. As I read The Children of Tyranny I literally wept with tears of joy mixed with tears of sadness. (This is not a comfortable combination) Over the years I have never questioned your love for the Savior and your desire to live in a way that would be pleasing to Him. I will admit I was alarmed at the control that "they" seemed to have over "their sheep". I tend to step back and let things proceed as they will, after the fashion of Gamalial's advice given in Acts 5:33-39. Philip, however, seems to see such matters in a much more decisive and discerning manner than I. If he has been hard on you over the last few years, please understand that it was out of genuine concern for you and your family.
Not being able to have access to your children must be devastating. I dearly love my children and grandchildren, and just the thought of being forced to have no relationship with them is utterly repugnant. My hope and prayer is that this will not be a long separation. By God's grace and in His loving kindness, may they soon be restored.
I desire to keep in touch with you. I know you are occupied with your present situation, but just know that my family and I are praying for you and want to have fellowship with you.
In Christ's love,
Cousin David
From: Richard Hudson
To: Dave Hudson
Sent: Sunday, February 22, 2004 10:19 PM
Subject: Re: Battered Sheep
David,
Thank you for your e-letter! It is good to hear from you!
I am really sorry I could not make it to the funeral. I was unable to go as I did not hear about Aunt Gladys' death and funeral until Friday, and that was from an e-mail sent to me by John Spivey. By that time I had scheduled for me four appointments for Saturday and I could not break them as it is in my contract to keep them if they are set for me.
Yes, I am currently going through a pretty severe trial. The group I once was a member of was not as it is now. Some men over the years grew up out of the group who had ideas of their own about taking control of it and the members. I guess I was too busy raising a family to realize what the new leadership had in mind about controlling us. As time went on, I questioned leadership and found that it was the wrong thing to do.
The reason I am not meeting with them any more is because I refuse to submit to their legalism and authoritarian control. Unfortunately, my children have intermarried and are married to influential families within the group. Also, they grew up under this ministry and know nothing else. It is my hope that eventually I can reach them with God's Word regarding the freedom we have in Christ. Until then, I have no choice but to suffer through this with them as I am responsible for exposing them to this teaching. My eyes have been opened to this error and, since my focus is to walk with Christ and to give Him honor and glory in all things, I find I can't put myself back under bondage to man. The price is high, but it is the price one must pay if he is to follow our Savior. I just hope my children eventually follow.
My wife is handling this as best as you can expect of one who feels the group we left is the only Body of Christ and I am wrong for taking us out. I have asked the children not to shun her as they feel constrained to do me at the encouragement of church leadership. However, I am shunned and I am denied the company of my children and grandchildren until I am willing to confess publicly to the group that I sinned by disobeying leadership. What was the sin? They forbade me to help a needy son who asked for his father's help at the risk of being ritually disciplined and shunned. I refused to heed their warning and chose, instead, to do my God-ordained duty as a father in this boy's life. It helped him greatly. However, it cost me dearly. It was this that helped me see how much unhealthy control this leadership exercised over me and everyone else in the group. It was time for me to get out.
Thank you for praying for me and my family. The Lord is very gracious. I have received much encouragement along the way. I have also grieved much at different times. But in all of this, if have not lost my focus on serving Christ in lieu of serving man and my faith in Him. I am not a strong person and I have not necessarily lived an exemplary life. At times I feel I just can't go on. But I am reminded that my children are my children. Man may exercise psychological restraints to separate us, but this is only temporal as they, I believe, are saved, which means one day in eternity we shall all have a great homecoming. This is only a short time down there. But in heaven, we will have all eternity to rejoice together. I do love my dear wife and my children, their spouses, and my grandchildren very much. I pray one day soon God will deliver us all and reunite us again, but in His name and for His purpose.
Give my love to Janis. I shall never forget the time in your little house in Kingsville when you and she kneeled with me in your bedroom to pray for my salvation. The Lord answered your prayers. I was saved not too many days later on a dirt road out in the wilds of Camp Pendleton, CA, alone except for God who was walking with me all this time and I didn't even know it until that very moment when I bowed my heart and cried out to him. God has a mysterious and wonderful way of being there for us when we finally call out to Him. And the peace that follows in totally amazing and unexplainable. Believe it or not, I have that peace now because I believe God has won the victory and in due time He will reveal to me, to all of us this victory. I believe this will all my heart.
Take care and give my love to all.
Your cousin and brother in Christ,
Richard
From: C Spivey
To: Richard Hudson
Sent: Thursday, February 05, 2004 6:46 PM
Subject: Thanks for the letters,
Sorry we haven't gotten back with you in a while, we have had some illness this winter and will be glad when warm weather gets here. Thanks, for Buddy's and Mozel's story we read it and thought it was very well written also. We have had some real christian fellowship with Mozel and Buddy and since he has gone we have kept close to her and she has been a real blessing to us and talk to her often on the phone. Hope you get everything all worked out in your family soon, and may God help you with the difficult problems and soon will be behind you. We know that God is more than able to do so.
Thanks, for keeping us informed.
Yours in Christ,
Cecil and Connie
