My Own Story

by Gary Parsons

I was born in Sydney NSW in 1947. When I was just very young, the visit of one man into our home totally altered the whole course of my life and my parents' lives from then onwards. The man was Bruce Lindsay, a missionary from PNG, and he stayed in a little 'sleep out' at the back of our home. One morning, very early, my father walked by and saw him on his knees in prayer, in front of an open Bible. Although my father was an elder in the local church, he not only learnt what it was to have a regular 'quiet time' with the Lord for the first time in his life, he also came to real faith in the Lord then as well. Both he and my mother determined to go out as missionaries themselves to the land of Borneo, where they devoted themselves to serving God, going on to work for quite some time as well with S.I.L. Wycliffe in the Philippines.

Where It All Began

My life turned totally around when I went to a camp as a teenager at Mornington in Easter of 1966. I did not know it, but I was about to be involved with this camp for the next 33 years of my life! I later became involved as a leader, and then went on to become a member (the youngest) of The Camp's Management Committee.

I married Helen Mollison in 1971, and began working part-time for the camp in May 1972 doing follow-up ministry, later becoming full-time in 1975. Helen became involved also in the publishing of a Bible Study Magazine that the camp used as part of its follow-up work.

Dismissal and Restoration

In 1977, after serving only two years full time in the work, I was asked by the Committee to leave the work, with no reasons being given for the decision. The next 12 months of my life were the most difficult I'd ever been through up until that point of time. It was a great blessing to us as a family that the churches that supported us in the work to this point continued to do so. They stepped in on our behalf, negotiated with the Committee, and soon (but not before 12 months) had us back working there once again, but not without the resignation of the key person in the work.

We were both young (30 years of age), but were so grateful that someone had done something, whatever that might have been! We didn't want to 'rock the boat' anymore (if we had been doing so), but we never really understood what any of this had been about at all! No open resolution or explanations or working things out or anything of that nature ever took place -- we just continued on in the work as if nothing had ever happened! Sometimes you do what you think is expected of you, with no questions asked, and that's exactly what we did at this time. It's called 'keeping the peace at all costs', and without having learnt that (and with no one teaching me either), I was destined to repeat it! During that 12 month period, however, Helen and I met a young couple named Mark and Debbie, and not only saw them come to know the Lord, but we formed what was to be a very long and wonderful friendship. They introduced us six or seven years later to another couple -- Jim and Isobel, where another long and deep friendship was also formed.

Seeing God's Blessings - Mornington & Yellingbo Sites

In 1981, my wife and family moved from our home in Mooroolbark, to live at Mornington, to enable a greater use of the then campsite to be made.

In 1984, the Mornington site was sold, and we moved to the property at Lake Yellingbo as a family in September 1984, with our 3 children. The Mornington campsite had been only one acre in size, while the new site was 76 acres! The idea was to develop a totally new and more suitable campsite for the work. As there was no house on the site then, we lived in a double-decker bus for 16 months, until our house was built. The money for this house represented the biggest single gift from any source in Lake Yellingbo's history, but it was given strictly for the purpose of building a house for my family, to enable us to be out of the bus accommodation as soon as possible.

For the next 15 years we were involved in building up a camp from nothing to a good viable site, starting with tents and a cow-shed for a dining room and a cream-separating room for a kitchen. It was a battle every inch of the way, but many people were involved; primitive conditions were overcome; permits were fought for and secured; buildings were erected; a lake was maintained; a farm was run; prayers were constantly made to God for help; answers were received; funds were slowly secured; leaders were trained; committee members were found; camps were held; people were won for the kingdom; and so much more! We ran school holiday camps summer, winter, autumn and spring, with countless stories of the children who came and of all the amazing things we saw happen in that time. Many, many children, teens and even families came to faith in Christ. We also had an extensive follow-up program for those who came to Christ, including a full Bible Study magazine published by the camp itself.

Faith, perseverance, patience, endurance, trust, continually praying and interceding, seeking God's Word and Way were the kinds of qualities we continually had to exercise. My role was that of Ministry Manager, and my wife's was Camp Manager, and a young family was raised in the middle of all this as well. This was not a job -- nothing of the sort -- it was a lifetime investment, and we loved it!

The Second and Deadly Dismissal

On May 6, 1999, my wife and I were asked by the Committee to leave the work that very night, and not long before, my son-in-law Phil had suffered the same fate. No reasons were given, no extensions of time were permitted, and a deadline of five weeks had been set to be totally off the property, with all of our possessions as well. The difference between this and 1978 was that the churches who had supported us did not step in this time -- we were completely and utterly cut off!

Nothing that we have ever been through in our lives has compared even minutely to what this did to us in May 1999, the devastation was so great. Nothing at all! There has never been a single doubt in my mind that in all of those 33 years of service in the one work, God's call was clear and sure and steadfast. Nor was there any doubt that whatever He wanted for the future would be just as clear and certain.

1. How did this all come about? What explanation was forthcoming for such a drastic step? If you want to read the details of what happened, to the best of my ability to describe it, read on.
   
   
2. Did God lead for the future? Did He open up a new path? The story of the cross is totally incomplete without the story of the resurrection, ascension and subsequent incredible story of the building of the Church, the Body of Jesus Christ. The rest of my story parallels this amazingly, and why shouldn't it when He said He is in us and we are in Him! I am in the process of writing this section now (somewhat serial like), and look forward with excitement to publishing it on this website as soon as it is completed.

The Part Related to 1:

1. New people in the work

A new couple became involved in the work, with one of them joining the Management Committee (MC) and after some time becoming Chairperson to the MC. After some time she began exercising quite a lot of authority in a manipulative and controlling way over the whole of the work. She insisted at one point on my resignation from the MC, and told the Committee she would resign if I didn't. The MC wanted time to consider the matter properly, but this was denied. In reflection now, this was a clear case of blackmail, but when someone appears to be doing a really good job, it is hard to do otherwise than concede to them. We all (including myself) conceded unwisely to this demand.

2. A New Committee commences in the work

Very soon after this new members were recruited to the MC by the chairperson, and the new members for some unstated reason distanced themselves from me. Although I had resigned from the MC, I did it only on condition that I be kept well-informed of what MC were doing and that I be free to put matters to it. However, soon the opposite began to occur and I began to feel very alienated from the MC. I was told that although the pain of this felt great, it was all for the best and ultimately for my good.

3. Harsh Assessments made by the new MC

My son, Tim, went through a lengthy interrogative process over his first ever camp he ever Program Directed, and he was very shaken by it! Then staff assessments were done with lengthy, harsh and officious results coming from that (except for one assessment), but with only three staff coming out of it badly -- myself, my wife and my son-in-law.

I went to see the Staff Pastor at this time, just to see if he could see a good and positive way forward. He seemed to understand exactly the predicament, and made a suggestion which I followed, though I was not at all sure it would work. Such a harsh and condemning response from the MC was received that I decided not to go down that path a minute longer. From that point onward I never heard from Staff Pastor again.

4. The MC's Demotion of Helen and Removal from the MC

The Chairperson of the MC at this time presented the MC with a copy of the Camp Management Structure, but did not tell them she had changed it slightly. I questioned her as to why she had done this, and for the first time, she raised her voice at me and told me to stop interfering with MC business. Soon after this, as a result of this new structure which the MC passed (not knowing too much about the old one anyway because of their newness to the work), Helen lost her role as Camp Manager. She also lost her position on the Board, and was demoted to a position with no authority at all. The MC claimed that no person in charge on the site was needed at this time. I asked the MC to show me any camp in Australia that operated without a person in charge on the site. They could tell me of none, but were adamant their decisions were right in every aspect, and that I had no right to question the rightness of their decisions at all. No reasons were given.

5. The MC's Replacement of Helen and Victimization of Helen and Myself

After refusing the need of a Manager on the site, this was soon reversed, and a new person without camping experience was appointed to Helen's position, and also took a position on the Board left open by Helen's removal. Helen's workload was increased, and the workload of others was decreased accordingly. They also announced to me that I would be required to pay rent to the camp on my leave of absence, as I would not be working at the camp. I had applied over 12 months earlier to take leave of absence to do some training, which had all been approved by the MC, but nothing had been said to that point about the rent! This was in spite of the fact that the house we lived in had been given to us personally by the original donor, as long as we lived on the camp.

Helen would not be required to pay rent as she was working on the site, but as I was on leave I would be required to pay rent, in spite of the fact that the purpose of the leave was for training in my ministry role. The fact that Helen did not resign at this point, wanting to and yet not doing so, in spite of encouragement from me, in the belief it would harm my future, was one of the most incredible acts of loyalty to myself that I have ever experienced. As Helen's workload had increased, I asked if I could help her clean and vacuum, as a way of decreasing her load and paying off the rent that was now being required of me to continue living on the site. The MC responded by saying that it was inappropriate for me to be involved in that way as I was on leave. The leave could not be suspended either, as the MC said it was all now in place and was unable to be changed.

6. Drop in Support and My Early Jobseeker Efforts

Some time after this, I received a letter from a church that supported us in the work saying that their support financially for us would be halved. For 27 years this church had given faithful support, and it seemed to me that their reason for acting this way, to the best of my understanding, was because one of the places that would be involved in my training during the leave of absence did not share some aspects of their theological stance with this, our supporting church. I was never officially told that this was the case, and it certainly was not the case with some other churches who had supported us, but in the end, this, together with the MC requirement of rent money, meant I would have to go out and search for work. Not only so, but I would also be crippled as a consequence of this in my ability to do the leave of absence training work as planned for. Nor could the whole thing be canceled or suspended, as the MC had ruled out that possibility as well! There was now no option for me but to go out and seek work.

I went out to try get work in open market, having not done so for 27 years. I got a job in an orchard doing apple-picking, but couldn't pick fast enough -- too inexperienced! So I tried speeding up but got fired because I was picking fast but apples were being bruised. So much to learn so quickly! Came home that day and cried out to the Lord, "Lord help me." There are times when the whole of our being is torn apart within us and we wonder if maybe we are dreaming. But this was no dream, it was real! Please bring down the wickedness of these people on their own head, but please let the work go forward. I do not know how I moved forward: looking back, only the Hand of God could done it.

7. Early Efforts to Get a Teaching Job

I tried to look at the possibility of going back into teaching, but when schools learned I'd been out of it for 27 years, I never got a call back. Not even one! God was doing something. He was taking from me the very things I valued so much, but I didn't see it as Him. But then a leader in the camps found a break. MECS Principal, Stuart Miller (who knew me well through camps), was willing to give me a break. I came there to teach secondary maths. Oh, the joy I had at acceptance after repeated rejection, over and over and over. Suddenly, someone accepted me, yes! You have no idea what this meant for me and Helen. On the first day I went to MECS, which was a meeting of teachers, I went to café in Olinda and sat with teachers as if I was one. No questions! There was no, "What are you doing?", "Do you know what you're doing?" I had no idea! But to be treated as equal, I can't convey what this meant! They had no idea either! This experience made me realize how powerful this abuse process had been. When you suddenly taste the opposite -- wow!!

8. Dismissal of Phil from the Work

At around this time, my son-in-law Phil was removed by the new person who had taken Helen's place, the one with no experience in camping. Phil had come from Scotland to Australia, given up everything to do so, had married our daughter Jenny, and was now forced into leaving because he had borrowed a computer that was not being used. Jenny and Phil approached the MC to try to resolve the issue, but it soon became obvious to them that they had thrown their full support behind the new person they had just appointed.

The blow to both Phil and Jenny was huge: it took two years before Phil was able to get proper work. If this was all that MC did, that alone would been huge, but it was not.

Explanation of Scenario Prior to This

Before I had gone on leave, I promised not to go if no one could be found to take my place. As the time neared, and no one appeared to have been found, I was worried I would be unable to hand over my duties to the incoming person. Unbeknownst to me, Phil had been asked to take my place, but he had also been strongly warned not to let Helen or myself know, this at a time when Helen was Manager and I was Ministries Manager. He knew nothing of other things happening, and found it incredibly difficult to obey this MC resolution, but he did. I said to the chairperson I wouldn't take my leave as no one was found, but she said, "No, you will take it!"

When I finally did discover Phil was doing it, I had no time to hand things over which is exactly what the MC wanted. They wanted all the input to Phil, as they would have much greater control over him. Phil had been warned not to consult me in any of the matters regarding my position he was filling, but he told me later he had no intention of obeying that edict. It seemed so foolish to him. There were some issues he approached me about, and it may well be that this was the true reason for his dismissal. Even the plans I'd set in place before the leave were strongly criticized by the chairperson, but it would have been wrong of me not to have done that. I did not understand that the MC was so intent on gaining total control of the Ministries Manager's position, which was of course the underlying agenda.

9. The MC's Charge of 'Breaking the Boundaries'

One day I was given a note from the chairperson containing some excellent news about a mother and daughter that we had had contact with through the camps. For 10 years, all communication between them stopped, through bitterness, anger etc., and the note broke the good news that the '10 year war' was over, and they knew I'd be interested to know. I certainly was! I wanted to ring them both straight away and share with them both the wonderful news!

I used a computer in the office to find out their phone number, as I had stored their numbers there myself and knew of no other record. I rang them both from the office, but while doing so the Caretaker came in, saw me on the phone, and asked if this was a Way of Life call. I nodded 'Yes' as I spoke, but he looked very angry. I assume that he rang the MC, because not long after this, I received a letter of reprimand from the MC charging me with serious wrong for entering the office and doing what I did, breaking boundaries that had been set from December 1st, 1998. I was taking valuable time from other staff who were unable to get on with their work. I wrote (as meetings were not permitted) to the MC to clarify what these 'boundaries' were. I had helped Helen with haycarting, 170 bales hay into the shed, sheep care etc., so wrote to MC to see if any of these were what they meant.

I finally received a letter from the MC day before Good Friday, 1999. I thought it may finally have been a letter answering my queries about boundaries, but it wasn't. There was no reference to my questions, only a number of very strong reprimands accusing me further of breaking boundaries. It seemed that my letter querying boundaries, became instead a letter of condemnation for my having broken the boundaries that I was in fact querying! The whole point of my letter had been to clarify boundaries.

10. My Ban from the Campsite, Campers and Leaders

The letter ordered me not to enter the campsite (apart from the road into the property up to our house) or camp buildings. If I did so, I would be asked to leave the property and live elsewhere. When I rang the writer of the letter and asked her the reason for this, she said it was disciplinary action. I asked her if I was allowed to visit Helen in the kitchen. The answer was no. How was I to pick up my meal? I had to send my son Tim, to bring it back for me. The things I was accused of doing in the letter were:

1. I had picked up some information that I thought would be helpful to the camp, and given it to a staff member, and
   
   
2. I also had used a MC member's name to say what a good job she had done in a certain instance on a letter I had written to thank them for a gift they had sent me. Both of these things were considered breaking boundaries, and thus I was banned from entering the campsite.

That ban was never removed or conceded as harsh. I obeyed the ban, but discovered campers been told to keep away from our house, as I on LOA and didn't want be disturbed. The ploy worked, and almost all kept away out of respect and obedience to the MC directive. Exclusion was horrible, and it was obviously meant to be that way. It was like putting a skewer in and turning it!

11. My efforts to seek mediation with the MC

I decided to see if I could talk with some other members of the MC. Two refused to speak to me (I had never before been unable to talk to them), but one agreed to talk with me. However, he was only a very new member. After a two hour phone call to the Chairperson, he agreed to see me, but he insisted that it had be taped and that a pastor be present as well. At the end of the meeting, they agreed that mediation must happen, that it had not happened in the past but should now proceed. However, the MC member never contacted me after that. In fact, I never heard from him again.

12. Further Victimization Affecting Tim

A letter was received to say our cat had to be removed from site. It was claimed as Council directive. The cat belonged to Tim, and he was devastated as the cat had been his for 10 years. I visited the Council, who said they had not given that directive. Back at the MC, they became furious about this and said that I had no right to contact the Council. The directive regarding the cat was eventually dropped because the Caretaker, who was in favor with the MC, said he would have leave to leave the site as well if the directive was enforced, since his own girls would be upset if both their cats were also banned from site.

13. The Final Dismissal

I was called to attend a meeting on May 6th, 1999. Nothing was said about why, who would be there or anything else at all. Helen was also called, two hours before, and told that an outside chairperson would be there to chair. When we got there, I asked the chairperson if was he a mediator. He indicated that he was. I asked, "Wasn't it unfair that I was not consulted?" The reply was more or less, "No, not at all!" I objected and began to leave. "Sit down," he ordered. "The chairperson wants to speak."

The chairperson then read from a prepared text, and basically read out the dismissal of both Helen and myself from the work. No real reasons were given, she just said they had lost confidence in both of us. Then, out of a back room, a group of men emerged, all men from the Christian Brethren church. Unbeknownst to me then, the whole thing had been planned the night before with them. No mediation, no consultation, just a plain bald statement of dismissal after 27 years.

We were given five weeks to be out of the house: all stuff gone, finished, gone, the end. That's it. The MC filed out, the CB filed in, sat down with me and said they very sorry it had come to this. They read verses from the Bible to soften the blow, and next day sent some lovely flowers to make us feel better. I have never in all my life felt so abused and devastated! That night will never be erased from my memory. Although I felt angry, I have asked God never to allow the events of that night to birth resentment or bitterness in my heart, and God honored that prayer.

I pointed out all three breached sets of laws: God's law, the law of the land and the laws governing The Way of Life's own agreed way of working. Matthew 18 clearly guides the proper process of settling disputes. The Way of Life had a clear policy guideline on this also. For instance, their own Grievance Procedures were not followed, and their law of the land in area of arbitration, which actually requires working issues through with employer, were also not followed.

These men sitting in the back room, brought out now for our dismissal, and still the MC avoided the issue by allowing these people to dismiss us with no arbitration whatsoever. They 'opened the Bible' to me and said that just as Jesus did not oppose those who crucified Him, nor should I oppose those doing this to us. What Jesus said about settling disputes they would not answer though.

Part 2

The story of just how God directed me after this is another story altogether. The story of the Cross is a story that is told again and again, and yet that story was one of full-on spiritual abuse. What makes the cross amazing is what followed! The whole story of resurrection, ascension, Holy Spirit outpouring, birth of the Church and the Church being built, what a story that is!!

Mine is the same. God has done so much since then, I just stand in awe and say, "God, You are Fantastic," and every other adjective I can think of. One day I would like to tell the other part, but it won't be today. What I've told today is enough for today and enough for what we are seeking to achieve today, but I assure you, the rest of the story could so easily have been disaster, death and THE END- but No! It's life and health and joy and peace!